What is Intentional Dating?

A crucial component in the dating process is to become intentional. The intention behind everything will be the result of your desire. When you date intentionally you are intentionally seeking a husband or wife. Through this process, you are discerning whether or not they are a match for you. 

Step 1: How to choose the right Dating Platform

There are so many dating apps, dating sites, and other social media outlets to meet single men that it is overwhelming. How do you choose? Choosing the right platform to meet your perfect match is one of the most significant choices you can make. Self-awareness will be the key determiner in helping you choose the path forward. 

 The first step is important to identify the broad qualities you are looking for in your partner and then choose the dating platform based on those interests. Here are some examples of broad qualities.

• Creative
• Religious
• Traveler
• Athlete
• Musical
• Outdoorsy/ Adventurer 

Step 2: The Power of Intention

Make sure you ask yourself why you are picking each quality. For example, if you are looking for a man or woman who is a professional, what is driving that intention? Is it because you want them to be monetarily well off? Or is it because you value education? Notice the difference. Your intention, most of the time, will end up being what you attract when you are dating. Make sure you have the right intention before you begin dating again.

Now that you understand how to choose the right dating platform, we are going to narrow down that list even further. Because there are so many fish in the sea, we need to be as precise as possible. If you met your perfect catch on the street, do you think you would know him? Chances are no. 

It is crucial to understand yourself and what you want. As you date, you should actively evaluate and discern whether or not the person has those specific virtues. Of course, it takes time to truly learn about someone. But as you do, you will discover and clarify whether or not they are a good fit for you. Every date you go on will help you to learn more about yourself and what you are truly looking for. Therefore, each date will bring you that much closer to your perfect match. Be flexible but honest with yourself at the same time.

Step 3: How do you want to feel?

• How do you want to feel when you are around them?
• How do they actually make you feel?
• Do they make your life better or worse?
• Do they make you feel closer to God or further away?
• Notice their energy and actions. How do their actions affect others?

Step 4: Qualities that you Need to Have

Oftentimes, it is easy to get too hung up on the list we want in a man/woman but don’t pay enough attention to the few things that you need to have. Now, they could have a million great things on your list, but if they doesn’t have the one or two things that he must have to meet your needs, then what is it all worth? Nothing. So, narrow down your list as much as possible.

My ex- boyfriend was tall (6 feet, 3 inches), extremely handsome (a former model) with blue eyes and dark hair. He was successful (he was going to law school), and he had a great family who was generous and financially well off. I got to go to NBA games with them and fun adventures that I would never have gone to otherwise. He was extremely intelligent and driven.

All that said, do you know the few things he didn’t have that I needed the most? Kindness, respect, and empathy. Do you see what I mean?  An example of his lack of kindness was when it was hailing outside and the temperature was just above freezing. We were going out with friends to a local restaurant.

“Can you drop me off?” I asked hopefully. After all, I was wearing a cute dress and nylons. He replied, “Nope. You can walk with me. You can thank women’s rights for that.”

After you have reflected on this for a while, go back and review your list above. Is there anything that you can eliminate from it? Try to cross off anything that is superficial. When I say superficial, I am referring to anything that you can live without.

Step 5: Dealbreakers

Moving forward, choose three of the most important deal-breakers on your list. These are things that you are not willing to compromise on. Everything else on the list will be eliminated. This is a powerful exercise that will help you clarify the man your heart is yearning for. The clearer you become with this activity the better your chances will be at spotting the catch of your dreams.

Now, I know what you are thinking; “I need so much more than just three qualities in a man.” Here’s what I can promise you: you will get more than three things after you meet him. For now, these three qualities will help you streamline the dating process, become less overwhelmed, and help you focus on what you truly need and desire in a relationship.

Conclusion

Do you feel the dating process becoming easier? Hopefully by now you are feeling less overwhelmed and more at ease to find your partner.  You are on your way toward creating a life with your partner that will exceed all of your expectations. Intention will be the way forward that will steer you in the right direction. Becoming clearer about what makes a wonderful partner will help you choose more wisely and with more intention.