Who is St. Ignatius of Loyola?
Ignatian spirituality is associated with St. Ignatius of Loyola (1491-1556), founder of the Jesuits (also known as the Society of Jesus), but it can be practiced by anyone. Ignatius was born in northern Spain to a family of minor nobility. After a life-changing event, he was forced to reflect on his spiritual life through a long convalescence, or recuperation. Built upon his own experiences, he developed a series of meditations for noticing God’s presence “in all things” and deepening one’s relationship with God, which would become what it is known as the Spiritual Exercises.
Healthy Desires
It is important to reflect upon our desires because often times God speaks to us through the desires of our hearts.
Fr. James Martin, S.J. notes that, Healthy desires are good. Jesus sees identifying our desires as liberating (freeing). “Desire is one of the engines of a person’s vocation.” God invites us to be honest about our desires. One’s deepest desire is for God. (Source: Martin, James. Jesus: A Pilgrimage. NY: HarperOne, 2014, pp. 299-300)
So, what are your healthy desires? Is it to marry and have a family? Or does it look more like contemplating religious life? Are you discerning who to date or how to date?
Either way, your healthy desires are important to identify because they will lead you forward toward the path you are most likely meant to follow.
Attachments
Attachments, however, are things that we hold on to or “attach” to that keep us from being completely free. Attachments hold us back and keep us stuck.
An attachment is anything you need to let go of. It keeps us from becoming closer to God and inhibits our freedom. Such attachments can look like fear, doubt, an inability to be vulnerable, unforgiveness etc. Much like Lazarus in the bible, it is easy to be “bound” to attachments that are not good for us. “Sift” through your life and decide what is of God and what is not of God.
Often times, just being aware of your attachments can help you detach from them.
The Process
Reflect on your emotions before you begin your journey. It is helpful to give yourself ten minutes of uninterrupted, technology-free time to reflect upon these questions. (I recommend setting a timer so you are not checking your watch or phone and can enjoy the experience). Jesuit Fr. Howard Gray explains that the examen aims to cultivate “alertness to what really motivates a person, to a person’s pattern of choices that gradually reveal the character and personality of a woman or a man before God” (Gray, “Ignatian Spirituality,” in The Ignatian Spirituality Reader, Chicago, Loyola Press, 2008, p. 61).
The Ignatian Examen is meant to help you recognize the Movements of the Holy Spirit. In his spiritual experiences and writings, Ignatius identified two basic spiritual movements described as “spiritual consolation” and “spiritual desolation.” In becoming aware of these movements, the focus is on one’s heart not one’s head/mind and where these feelings are leading a person (e.g., toward or away from God, toward love or away from love).
An important concept in Ignatian spirituality is “finding God in all things.” “Finding God in all things” reflects the early Jesuit “way of proceeding” that is still in practice today. It is a spirit of openness that recognizes the presence of God in all people and in all of creation. It led the early Jesuits to foster reconciliation among people, which included emphasizing “where God dwelt in seeming differences” (Source: Howard Gray, S.J., “Ignatian Spirituality,” in The Ignatian Spirituality Reader, Chicago, Loyola Press, 2008, p. 73).
Spiritual consolation: an affective movement that draws one closer to God
In spiritual consolation: One experiences “deep connectedness with God”; one is filled “with a sense of peace and joy” (Source: Margaret Silf, Inner Compass, Chicago: Jesuit Way, 1999, pp. 56, 55). One’s soul is caught up in the love of God; “every increase of faith, hope and love, and all interior joy” (Source: Ignatius of Loyola, Spiritual Exercises, #316). One feels close to God and others and feels a desire to deepen these relationships. One feels a deep sense of gratitude and a desire to be of service to others.
Spiritual desolation: an affective movement of being drawn away from God
In spiritual desolation: “our hearts are turned away from God” (Silf, 56). One’s soul experiences a “turmoil of spirit”; a wanting of faith, hope, and love (Spiritual Exercises, #317) . It is not the same thing as clinical depression. One doesn’t feel at peace with oneself and one’s life; one may feel separated from God and others; and he/she may start moving away from the things that used to give one joy. One may also feel tempted to make decisions that are not in line with who one is and with one’s values.
In the next blog, I will talk more about the Ignatian Examen. Understand that discernment is process. Try to be open to the voice of the Holy Spirit and how He is calling you. Also, be patient with yourself. Discernment looks different for everyone.
Reflective Questions to Help You Navigate Relationships
When have you felt spiritual consolation? What people make you feel closer to God?
When have you felt spiritual desolation? What people make you feel further away from God?
Ask the Holy Spirit for the next steps you should take on your journey.
Ask the Holy Spirit to direct your steps toward the person who is right for you.
What do you need to let go of to move forwar
“Prayer is not asking. Prayer is putting oneself in the hands of God, at His disposition and listening to His voice in the depth of our hearts” Mother Teresa
