Relationships are pivotal for our health and happiness. We are formed for community and many times God does the most work with us within our relationships.
Benefits of a Fulfilling Relationship
Improved happiness – A long term study conducted by Harvard found that more than your genes, your IQ, or your social status, it was your partner who actually brought you the most happiness in your life. There is a sense of security that brings happiness to people, especially as they age. Furthermore, the research showed that having a partner helped the couples to maintain a happy mood even despite periods of physical pain.
More confidence and security – When you find a high quality relationship, you gain a deep sense of confidence and security, in other words, your partner can help to bring out the best in you.
Less stress – A fulfilling relationship can actually lower your cortisol levels. Cortisol is the stress hormone, and studies have shown that married couples have less cortisol than those who are single, divorced, or widowed. High levels of stress can lead to several health problems such as high blood pressure, diabetes, and heart disease.
Deeper sense of self-discovery – When we have the opportunity to be less stressed and more secure, we can allow ourselves to explore deeper periods of self discovery. Self-discovery is taking time to explore who you really are. Hopefully you would have allowed yourself time to do this before connecting with a partner as well, but when you have a sense of high emotional intelligence you become a better partner, and you allow your spouse to become a better version of themself as well.
Greater sense of patience and understanding – I’m pretty sure being with another person whether a sibling, a roommate at school, or a partner has all stretched our capacity for patience and understanding, so this should be pretty self explanatory. Patience and understanding are some of the beatitudes for living a Christian life.
More open-mindedness – This follows the idea of being more patient and understanding, but we also develop an opportunity to become more open-minded. Being in a fulfilling relationship teaches us there is more than one way to approach a problem and more than one solution, and also that people can have different interests and pursuits within this world and still find joy. We need to appreciate everyone as God intended.
Greater sense of welfare – Part of being in a fulfilling relationship is sometimes putting the needs of others before the needs of ourselves. This becomes especially true once we have children, but it can also be demonstrated when we have a partner. Consider if your spouse had a challenging day at work and needed a listening ear or really wanted to attend an event that was important to them (even though it wasn’t something you were particularly fond of).
Improved health and wellness – Last year I had read on a website that simple acts such as holding a loved one’s hand or looking at a picture, or even cuddling with a companion all had the ability to relieve pain. Similarly, when two people who love each other looked at each other deeply, their heart rates had the ability to synchronize! I found it so fascinating! Knowing that there is another person there looking out for your health making sure you keep appointments, eat better, exercise, and just stay well because of their mere presence is a miracle.
Larger circle of family and friends – We humans are designed to be social creatures. We weren’t meant to live in isolation. When we find a fulfilling relationship, we increase the number of people in our extended family and our friendship circle. If we have children, that network continues to grow even further because we will now connect with those people we meet through our children. The more people we know the more mentally fit we will remain and the less depressed we will tend to become.
True love – The Bible tells us “Whoever does not know love, does not know God, because God is love,” (1 John 4:8). We were given the gift of knowing God here on earth through the ability to love one another unconditionally. It is freeing to be appreciated and celebrated for who you are, and also to be able to bring out the best in another person.
Stay the course
So, when you feel like you want to give up on love, remember that even though it is not easy, it is worth it.
Below are some tips to help you practice self care while you are dating
-Journal about your dating experiences to help you reflect.
-Meditate to help you process emotions and help you become more mindful and take control of your thoughts.
-Talk to a friend or reach out to a professional for support.
-Pray about it.
-If you have a negative experience while dating, try not to take it personally. Remind yourself that everyone is on their own journey and someone else’s behavior does not reflect upon you.
-Practice saying loving affirmations.
Remember that Soulmate love will transform you from the inside out, and even relieve some pain along the way, so stay the course, stay true to who you are without giving in to the temptation of finding a “quick fix” and settling for someone that compromises your values. True love will find you at the right place and time.
It may sometimes seem like it’s taking a while, but the path will unravel before you with every step. Trust in God’s plan for your life that each step you take is moving you powerfully in the right direction. Nothing that is meant for you will pass you by! So take a step and be at peace knowing the rest will unravel according to God’s plan.
If you’d like personalized support with how to attract and build a healthy and fulfilling relationship, schedule a consultation to learn more about my intentional dating program.