You go on a first date. You enjoy it. You laugh. You flirt. You have a cocktail.
And then what?
No follow up phone call or text to plan a second date? Silence?
What follows? Dissapointment, confusion, anger, frustration, doubt.
Yep. Been there. More times than I would like to admit.
Why does this continue to happen to smart beautiful women?
Ladies, let’s take control our control back and stop wasting time dating the wrong men.
It’s not you, it’s him. He is simply not being honest.
How did you miss the signs? It seems that he enjoyed the date. He laughed. He flirted. He even paid for dinner! So what went wrong???
Clearly, he was not honest about something. He wasn’t honest about his intentions going on the first date. And he certainly wasn’t honest on the date with you. We can go on and on analyzing why you were ghosted or you could learn from it, move on, and choose the right guy from now on.
Here are the first 3 things you should identify about your man before you date (or continue) to date him
Let’s say that you are on a date with him and he is talking about how long he lets his dog outside when he is at work. This is could be a great conversation starter, especially if you have a dog. It is alright to disagree with him.
Say something like “I have a dog but I hired a dog walker on the days I am at work longer.” What is his reaction? Does he become arrogant and defend himself? Does he even hear your voice and keep talking about his particular situation? Or does he think about what you have said and add something meaningful to the conversation?
Plus, if you do this you are also playing a bit hard to get. Men like the chase, naturally. By doing this you are also putting the power back into your hands while seeing what kind of guy he really is underneath his handsome smile.
Ask Him Questions
This is used both to judge him, his character and get to know him. Evaluate his answers and his body language as well. Does he avoid eye contact while he answers you? Does he look at his phone as a distraction?
Again, you are getting to know him on many levels here while putting the power back in your hands. You are making the decision whether or not he is getting the second date from you or not. Not vice versa.
He is More Interested In Himself Than You
During your date, is he dominating the conversation and talking about himself? He is bragging about himself and talking about his awards that he got from football and how he got on the honor roll in college?
Does he ask about you? Is he interested in you?
If he is usually this selfish at the beginning, chances are it is not going to change.
I usually tell my clients to listen to their intuition because this can be particularly helpful while you date. However, it is imperative to also use logic as well. A great tool to make sure that you are using logic and emotion is called The Wise Mind. Here is more information on it https://www.therapistaid.com/worksheets/wise-mind.pdf
Be sure to like my facebook page @embracingsoulfulrelationships to tune into my live training event next Thursday at 7pm. Here, I will go in depth about judging a man’s character and evaluating his sincerity and answer any questions you may have. See you there!