Ladies, I know we like to give.

We are designed that way.

We like to give of ourselves and be nurturing and take care of the men we are dating.

In fact, some of us even try to “fix” the men that treat us poorly.

We have thoughts like, “Maybe he just needs more love” or “I will give him the love he lacks” which disempower us and make us feel like we are inequal to the man we are dating because we become more like their mother than their partner.

Instead, being equal with our partner makes us feel powerful and on the same level with them.

If you go into a relationship thinking that you have to change him, why are you with him in the first place?

First and most importantly, we need to take care of ourselves. We have to love ourselves enough to say no to toxic behavior of all kinds. If we don’t love ourselves enough, we will not find a man who loves or appreciates us either.

Hustling for Worthiness

Sometimes we have the need to prove something to ourselves or the men we are dating. We want to prove that we are good enough.

Additional thoughts like, “I can make him love me and treat me well” or “Maybe if I do this, he will treat me with more respect” are thoughts that reflect we don’t feel like we are good enough. If we felt like we were enough, would we have to prove anything in the first place?

Going on, Brené Brown, the shame researcher and best-selling author, likes to call this “hustling for worthiness.” She interprets this as having to work hard or “hustle” to be worthy in someone else’s eyes.

We have to work to get respect and feel good enough.

I am here to tell you that you are good enough. In fact, you are exactly who you are supposed to be! You are born exactly as you should. In fact, you are created around who your soulmate is.

If you are trying to change yourself for another man or you are trying to prove your worth to a man, this is taking away from your true identity. And your true identity is going to be what attracts you to our soulmate.

YES- a SOULmate. We all have one.

Let me help you find yours!

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